Pain I can't get enough
Pain I like it rough
Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
(Three Days Grace - Pain)
"An athlete doesn't see a healthy day" [urheilija ei tervettä päivää näe] - Finnish proverb.
"Push through the pain"
"Love the burn"
"Better sore than sorry"
"No pain, no gain"
We all know these fitspo-slogans coursing up and down the internet. We all want to be brave, we all want to push through the pain, gritting our teeth and be the person who does all this fitspo-superhero-romantic stuff. But how do you know when enough is enough? How do you know that your body can go no further?
Pain actually is a warning sign, it is supposed to tell you that you are not okay. That you should slow down a bit. We all know this, but still we grit our teeth and keep on doing what we're doing until we just physically cannot push any further.
Believe me, I know.
Just a few bruises, a taped-up joint capsule and toe and a swollen ankle...
I'm still trying to figure out what the right measure is. When to stop. I'm the worst when it comes to not giving in to reason because it feels like giving up.
In January I woke up one morning and started crying when I tried to get out of bed, but was so sore that I needed about two minutes to just sit up. Everything hurt. But the worst thing was: it had been that way for the last four and a half months. I woke up this one January morning and realised that I could not remember a day when nothing in my body ached within the last four and a half months. It had been enough. I took a week-long break. I had gone all this time doing sometimes up to 20 hours worth of workouts or stretching or anything at all related to sports a week, most weeks making do with one rest day. Sometimes none. I remember there being a streak where I had gone almost twenty days without rest. I was hanging at the end of my rope. And there I was, trying to sit up, crying. But why do we let it get so far?
For me it was pride, one of my main triggers, and the will to prove that I was just as good, just as strong, just as robust as the guys. No, I wanted to be better than the guys. As the only girl working out and training with a bunch of guys, you get this false sense of having to prove you're worth it. Having to prove that you can take a hit. You feel like you have to put in twice the work the guys do, show them you are indestructible, not realising that all you achieve is destruction.
And I wanted to compete in MMA. I had to improve, no matter what the cost, I could not simply skip training because something hurt. I broke my toe and kept on going. I couldn't walk right, but that didn't keep me from jumping, lifting, and sparring. I taped it, it hurt like hell every time I removed the tape. It didn't heal properly. But... everyone was doing it. Our trainer had all his toes taped. It was a running gag. Broken toes and training with them are an everyday thing.
I messed up the joint capsule of my right big toe a few weeks later. Hurt real bad. Still hurts and it's been almost four months. Again, I couldn't walk properly. Again, I taped it. Am still taping it before some training sessions.
I can't move my right thumb right, because I once hit a right hook a little off kilter and my thumb connected with the pad, there was a strange noise and pain. Didn't matter, I had a match coming up.
The knuckles in my boxing gloves were bruised and/or bloody a few times, but there was still three training eras to go. So I went the whole nine yards. Got a few pale scars on my knuckles these days.
no need to explain this, is there?
This one hurt a little more...ouchie
And what for? Pride. A false sense of achievement when you swap war stories with your peers. And then you get to the point, where you're super girl. When your trainer tells the rest of the group: "Guys, just look at the lady. Now there's a good example for all of you!" or someone just says in passing: "Well, but no challenge for you, it's probably child's play to you." They don't see that you hurt. And how could they when you've become so good in just pushing harder whenever it hurt.
And at some point you start to believe your own press.
When I got the news that even my last match of the season - the fourth cancellation this spring - would not happen because there was no suitable opponent, I crashed totally. Only then, the excitement and anticipation leaving me, did I realise just how messed up my body was. And not because someone else told me to keep on going, but because I kept telling myself that I had to. I got an all-or-nothing kind of attitude that makes it hard for me to slow down once I've found something I like, I'm crazy ambitious/competitive and I have this slightly addictive nature. Sports tickles that the wrong way sometimes. I have to learn to do the moderation thing. I'm working on it.
A good start was my trainer, who at one point told me to remember to rest. When that did not help, he actually told me to keep my feet still the rest of the day and the next day. Rest. Whenever I'd look too tired, he'd ask me what kind of workouts I had done that week, how many rest days I'd had. If he didn't like the answer, he told me to slow down. If the answer was alright, he'd tell me to remember to eat. At one point he continuously told me to remember to eat well. I had probably lost too much weight/speed/strength at that point and didn't even notice myself. A good trainer with your best interests at heart is worth everything and more.
But what if you don't have that voice of reason?
A) Learn to distinguish different forms of pain. There is good pain (like the burning in your thighs after you did a hard squat set) and then there's bad pain (like the stinging pain in your knee after you've been doing deep squats on five days in a row without a rest day and maximum weights). Those are just extreme examples. If a certain movement hurts, don't do it or get someone to tell you if your technique/posture/etc. is right.
B) Good pain can become bad pain, too. Remember my soreness-story? Not good. You need to give your body some well earned rest if you want to see muscle/strength growth or any kind of development.
C) Listen to your body. This sounds easier than it actually is because there are all these other motivators screaming over the voice of your body. But if your body says it's not a good day to get in a Body Pump/Combat/Step/Attack-session, then don't go because the instructor's cute (been there, done that :P), don't go because you ate that cupcake and now have to train off the calories (it doesn't really work like that anyway), don't go because you always go (most stupid reason I ever had..."But I always go to this class") and don't go to prove a point to anyone. Not even yourself.
Now, keep in mind that I'm still struggling with these. I still believe there are things worth going through pain. That jacked up ankle in the picture? I didn't tap out in a tournament. And escaped and got my opponent sweeped afterwards. It wasn't pretty, but it gave me that small experience of success.
Hello, my name is Kitty and I am a sports addict. But it's been 8 days since my last incident.
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