Grit Strength, or: I challenge you to focus on your technique

Ugh, please remind me to never half-ass technique during a Grit-class again. Today I decided to concentrate on technique rather than rep count and I got myself so much more exhausted, it's not even funny anymore. Normally, I just do everything as fast as possible and as many reps as possible, sacrificing the right technique and weight. I could easily up the weight on my bar a little if my pride didn't take a hit when I have to take a break or get in less reps than the person next to me. 

But today, I always started out with clean technique and the burn was a whole other. For example: I hate nothing more than burpees, except for jump lunges. I hate those from the bottom of my heart, mostly because whereas my upper body has been responding really well to training and gains and stuff, my lower body just stays as chicken-y as ever. I got chicken-y legs and all the same how much I squat and eat, I don't gain any muscle (or fat) below my knees and even on my thighs, it's mostly fat. So, my legs are my weakness. And I hate regular lunges, because they mostly burn in my quads, not my bum or the back of my thighs, where you supposedly feel them. Most people have a muscle and strength imbalance between the front and the back of their thighs, which is why they tend to push up with their quads rather than their behind, which is why in turn instructors always keep telling you to push through your front heel and pinch your butt cheeks together while pushing up. In my case... both sides are equally weak. But, I noticed already before my short vacation in Germany, that I have much more power and strength and don't tire as fast (on a muscular level) if I actually go deeper and sit into the lunge and go down to that infamous 90° angle. The cardial fitness is another thing all together, because engaging my butt, I get out of breath rather quickly (larger muscle, and the gluteus maximus is one if not the biggest muscle in your body, higher oxygen consumption), but as I said, on a muscular level I don't tire as quickly, because my butt cheeks take much longer getting sore than my quads.

Do it the right way. Also, remember to eat well. My day in four pictures.

The point I meant to make: the cardio part of the workout was driven home much harder (muscles use up oxygen while working, so you don't need to run to get winded) and now my butt hurts. And the rest of my body hurts in exciting new ways or with a new intensity. So, for your health's and your fitness' sake, listen to your instructor even if going down to a 90 degree angle sounds impossible. It's actually easier. Or well, maybe it just hurts differently and in my case less. But yeah, listen to what advice they have to offer. Look at their posture and movement radius. Yes, you can do 20 squats in the time they do 10, but those 20 actually are as useful as 0 if you only quickly pulse between a 0 and 45° angle. So, if you do it, do it right, even if that means you have to swallow your pride when the small chick next to you does 20 more reps than you do. In the end, it's your workout. And while your pride might benefit from keeping up with her half-assing your technique, your body doesn't. 

Product test: Quest Peanut Butter Cups

So, a week ago I bought these awesome looking and sounding Quest Peanut Butter Cups, which I have wanted to try for quite a while now. The idea seems simple enough: take a beloved sweet like the peanut butter cup, which is not exactly healthy, and make a healthy version of it, sell it under the name of "Quest Cravings". In Quest Nutritions case, being concerned with people's protein intake and all, this means loads of protein, low or next to no carbs. 

The nutritional info reads as follows:

Serving Size: 2 cups (one packet contains 2 cups), 50g

Calories: 240

Calories from fat: 150 (well, peanut butter ain't exactly low fat)

Total Fat: 17g (of which 35%, 7g are saturated fats)

Sodium: 240mg 

Potassium: 230mg

Total Carbohydrate: 10g (of which 3g dietary fibre, 1g sugars, 3g Erythritol [well, that sounds healthy])

Protein: 20g

So far, so good. Sounds okay, on the ingredient list the first listed items are protein-supplement mixes (Heraprotein-Isolate and Milkprotein-Isolate, so it's not suited for vegans) and actual peanut butter, plus unsweetened chocolate. Nutritionally, this isn't too bad. But. The taste is gruesome. If you've ever had a real Peanut Butter Cup (Reese's), you will know the second this thing touches your lips that nope, this won't help your cravings. If you have never had one, leave this thing on the shelf and take a real Peanut Butter Cup with you. Might be nutritionally worse, but at least you get some taste for the calories you consume. The chocolate is way too bitter (maybe try stevia for sweetening?) and the consistency of the whole thing is off-putting. It might be due to the fact that obviously the packet I grabbed hadn't been stored correctly, but the chocolate was also covered in this white film chocolate gets when it's getting old. So maybe the taste of the chocolate would have been better, but even that would not have saved the whole thing.

The cup itself. As you can see, the chocolate is already gone off and it doesn't look too attractive.

To put it in a nutshell: Nice idea, but terrible execution. Which is a pity because I usually like Quest's products. But this is the reason why people always frown upon healthy alternatives to sweets and baked goods. 2/5 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. 

Life changes even the best of plans... I'm doing Gains, Lean Gains

and isn't that the truth. In June, I had decided for myself that I wanted to go down to Bantam-weight, to get a feeling for my body at 61,2kg (135lbs.). Little did I know. I am not entirely sure how I ended up doing what I did, but at some point I noticed that I was actually working out harder than ever and my muscles were sore as hell more often than they were not. Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of sore muscles to some extend, but I also know that to actually build muscle, you have to eat more than your normal calorie intake, because your body needs energy to build and protein from which to build new muscle fibres. So, hanging around at a caloric deficit of 500kcal/day seemed like a terrible waste of workouts. 

The actual math is something like this: To actually build muscle mass you need a positive energy balance of at least 500-1000kcal a day. You also need to get about 1,2-2g protein per kilogram of body mass. For me at about 65kg that would be 78-130g of protein a day. Fuck a duck with a Christmas tree. You know how much more I have to eat to get to these figures? Especially with no sugar involved? Thank heavens, there's peanut butter, nuts and other healthy stuff high in calories. 

You also have to get a good amount of carbs, because they fuel your workouts and keep you powered. Also, recovery is easier and faster when your body is able to refill its glycogen stores (that's basically the tank that keeps the energy your muscles are burning while working) relatively fast. So, you should try to eat within 30 minutes after your workout. 

So, gains, yes? We are going to do gains, body? The treacherous thing with gains, however, is that I have a tendency to underestimate my caloric intake and I always want to be on the safe side: did I really eat enough to turn this pain into muscle? Or even worse: justify eating loads with "yeah, I'm doing gains right now"

I have tried a system last summer that actually worked pretty well for me: Lean Gains.

My biceps after a month of gains

Lean Gains is basically another form of intermittent fasting; meaning you don't fast for a longer amount of time, but for short bouts at a time. The most popular form of intermittent fasting these days may be the 5:2 diet (I tried that, too, for a while, but that's a whole chapter of its own), but lean gains don't quite work like 5:2. With 5:2 you eat 5 days of the week normally and on the two remaining days, you eat less than 600kcal (men) or 500kcal (women), with the fast days not being on consecutive days. 

Lean gains, however, make you eat enough food to build muscle, but - as the name already says - promise to keep you lean. You have to calculate your daily caloric intake via a formula based on your basic metabolic rate, your level of activity and whether it's a rest day or not. See the infographic at the bottom for more info. After that you need to know, when to eat. You got 8 hours a day within which you eat those calories. The rest of the day, that would be 16 hours on Planet Earth, you fast. You take BCAA supplements, but you don't eat. For me the schedule looked as follows: 

5:30 get up, drink a cup of tea (because I don't do black coffee)

6:30 go to work

10:00 breakfast break, biiiiig breakfast

13:00 lunch

15:00 dinner (because most of my workouts begin around 17-19 o'clock and I can't move on a full stomach)

17/18 (just before workout) small energy boosting snack

18-10 FAST

You'd think this is hard, but actually it isn't. Because of work, my mind is mostly kept off eating in the mornings anyways and 10am is the first chance I get to have a break and thus breakfast. The only clear disadvantage is, that you're feeling full for those 8 hours you are allowed to eat, but also you crave food like it's not even funny anymore. Once you get to eat, your metabolism starts revving up and it goes full speed baby. 

This does work. I did not gain any significant weight during my gain phase and I've been eating A LOT. I have gained water weight, though, because I usually don't eat that much carbs.

Still, there are some Downsides to this method:

1. Keep in mind that you are meddling with your metabolism. If something feels off, don't continue with this until you know it's safe (consult a doctor, personal trainer, dietitian, etc.).

2. Food cravings, baby. And those ain't funny.

3. Food babies and inability to move because you just ate 6 hours straight and well... now it's time to train. I look like I weigh twice my weight most of the time because during the hours I do eat, I carry a heavy food baby with me. And sometimes, when I don't time my eating right or had something more difficult to digest, it actually does get in the way of effective work outs.

4. Hunger. Like, you're going from one extreme - the foodbaby - to the other, namely hunger. Your body in a fasted state wants food and it makes itself known. Those pangs are short and go by rather quickly, but if you have a tendency to get hangry (like I do), those can be very inconvenient. 

Upsides:

1. Lean gains. Need I say more?

2. feeling really satiated without the guilt. 

3. something you really did not want to know: incredibly regular bowel movements.

I found this on the interwebs when I was looking for info on this issue and I found it very helpful:

My upcoming week in workouts

So, I was talking about planning ahead when it comes to workouts to fit them into your schedule and also to give yourself something to do during rest days. This is what I have planned for the upcoming week:

Monday: Body Jam and Body Pump as a combo if my ear is still hurting. If my ear is okay I'm going with Body Jam and Grappling/10th Planet Jiu Jitsu training. 

Tuesday: MMA stand up training and Body Balance. 

Wednesday: I got an invitation by my stand up coach to come to the Muay Thai sparring session. It depends on my feeling that day. If I don't feel sharp enough, I'll be going to Body Combat and Grit Strength.

Thursday: getting a massage in the morning. Then maybe Body Combat in the evening, if my muscles are forgiving.

Friday: Grappling. Maybe Body Combat before.

Saturday: forced rest, because I'm working all day.

Sunday: Body Balance, CX, Grit Strength. Maybe Combat. 

What do You do on a rest day?

Mostly, when I know I have to have a rest day, I really don't know what to do with myself and I find myself at the gym. Again. I know, I should not do it, but it happens all the time. So, what can you do on a rest day to make it a success?

This is me, basically.

1) A rest day does not mean that you only sit around, watching tv, doing nothing. You can go to the gym. You just shouldn't do the weight-lifting, cardio -thing. I had my rest day today and I went to the gym. To go to a Body Balance class. Body Balance, as a mix of Yoga, Tai Chi and Pilates, is a pretty great option on a rest day. I mostly half-ass the Pilates core workout on rest days, but otherwise it is great. The Tai Chi warm up gets your body to softly open up, it helps cramped up muscles to release tension, but it does not force them to work. The sun salutation track does the same thing, but it also starts adding in some dynamic stretches, which feel pretty great after training your body into a stiff, cramped up ball of pain. At least that's why I love it. The Warrior poses in the next track do engage your leg and core muscles and you can get a pretty intense workout if you go low enough and really challenge yourself, but on a rest day you can engage your muscle just as much as you need to to get your upper body relaxed. Also, at the same time as you are using your lower body's muscles, your stretching them, so in the end it does not challenge you in the same way squats do. And, what can I say, but the balance and stretching tracks are just perfect on a day like this. And the Savasana at the end lets you deeply relax all of your muscles and calm your mind.

Other options for "working out" on a rest day include Yoga and stretching. Maybe a walk around town or the woods, but nothing where you effectively get out of breath. Also, with Yoga, I am not talking about Yoga strength classes or Hot Yoga that effect your circulatory system, but rather about Yoga stretches and relaxation techniques.

2) Eat well. Because it is on your rest days that your body gets to replenish its energy reserves and re-build cracked up muscle fibers. Your body needs nutrition to repair these microscopical tears in your muscle fibres that help you get stronger and buffer.

My dinner today. Lots of protein. I had a load of carbs for lunch in the form of cereal, so dinner was a low-carb affair.

3) Meet friends. This is one thing I happen to neglect most of the time. If my friends don't go to the gym with me or ring me up, I mostly don't see them on training days. So, on rest days I make the best of the amount of spare time I have, and meet my friends.

4) Do stuff you don't have the time or energy to do on gym days. Like I went through all my closets and cupboards to discard and chuck a load of stuff I don't need. I also prepared my meals for the rest of the week so I don't have to think about cooking when I come from the gym in the evening. Plus, I cleaned the whole kitchen because I felt like it.

5) Get a massage. You're not supposed to do any great strength training efforts after that anyway and it helps get metabolic waste out of your system.

6) Take photos of your achievements. See how far you've come. Set new goals if necessary, do planning for your workouts. I planned my whole workout week today.

I'm pretty stoked that my biceps is starting to grow. 

So, basically, do all kinds of stuff that keep you busy and feel good. Eat. Have fun. Sleep in. Do whatever helps you to bounce back better after your rest day.

Working out in the heat

Now, while it's great that we finally got great summer weather, the rising temperatures may be a problem for some. Especially as the quicksilver in Central Europe climbs up to almost 40°C, you might not be willing or feeling able to work out. 

Scientists in an University of Oregon study have found out that working out in the heat might help you achieve better results (they made a study with bikers driving in 110°F (approx. 42°C) heat over a 14 day period and found out that their performance improved more than the performance of a control group training in a room at 55°F. The bikers needed some time to acclimate, but after that they really got it on. 

Bikram yoga is another example of making use of heat during a workout. Your muscles give in easier to stretches making it is easier to get into poses that are hard to get into at normal room temperature. 

There are, however, a few things you should remember when working out in the heat:

1. Drink enough, but not too much.

This one is almost self-explanatory. Drink enough to stay hydrated to fend off dizziness, cramps etc., don't drink too much as this might lead to a loss of sodium within your body. Check the colour of your urine to see if you drank enough or too much, it should be a light colour, not clear but not strongly yellow either. 

2. Give your body time to acclimate and take breaks when necessary.

I had to learn this the hard way. My body really doesn't like the heat and even after getting used to it, it still doesn't react the same way it does in 15-20°C weather, which is my optimum. I get dizzy a lot and quickly, my chest starts to restrict. Take breaks if something feels off. Don't push through it if you're not sure what's going on. Normally it takes your body a few days to acclimate. Take baby steps. Start with a walk, not a run. See how you feel and if it's okay, then start running. 

3. Don't work out when the heat is at its worst. Keep to the shadows if possible (and remember sunscreen).

Self-explanatory, isn't it? You don't need a heat stroke. You really don't. 

I love morning workouts in the summer because it's already light out and at 5 am there's few people crossing your pass and you got the whole town to yourself. Or the beach. 

Me at the beach at 5:30 in the morning. I have this habit of running and ending my run there with a swim. It's cool.

4. Wear the right clothes.

Light-weight, breathing clothes, maybe special heat gear, maybe breathable cotton help your body's cooling system. And it feels nice to feel a light breeze on your skin now, doesn't it? 

5. Maybe go for a nice swim?

It doesn't always have to be running or jogging or weight lifting. Try some alternatives like going for a swim or doing a nice yoga, Tai Chi or Pilates workout that does not raise your heart rate as hard as e.g. a run. 

6. Always listen to your body!

This is imperative. Because your body knows when it has had enough. Your body gives you signs when it is time to stop. Tune in to your body and you'll know what's the deal and if you can go for another five minutes. 

7. Enjoy.

Don't forget to enjoy the heat, too. There's all this great, great stuff like ice cream, the feeling of the sun in your face or your skin in general, the light, the mood. It's summer, take it easy. 

Sore muscles, happy pain?

When I woke up this morning, it took me a moment to get up, because I was so sore. I took a short inventory and my upper body was really beaten up, but my lower body was still a little sore, too. Especially my gluteus medius, part of my bum. 

My schedule this week was Sh'Bam on Monday evening, Spinning and CX Tuesday morning as well as striking practice and Body Balance Tuesday evening. Wednesday I went to a Body Pump class in the morning and - finally - grappling training in the evening. So, I deserved the soreness, but still. I like being sore up to a certain point. If it exceeds that point, I get whiny. And today was a whiny day. Everything hurt, and since I do physical work, I really felt it most of the time. 

Which brings me to the point of this post. There are all these motivational fitspo pictures saying that "pain is weakness leaving the body" or "no pain, no gain", but should you really go for that burn every time? 

Sure, being sore gives most people a feeling of accomplishment. It is a way of proving to yourself that you put in the work. You can tell your friends about your sore legs, post about them on social media. All of that. Oh, and it is totally worth it, posting about accomplishments on facebook, twitter or the social media outlet of your choice. Studies showed that it actually helped keep up motivation in people who set themselves the goal of getting fitter. 

This just as an aside. That burn you feel while working out is lactate acid that accumulates in the muscle and the pain you feel when you're sore are microruptures in your muscle tissues and when they heal, they grow back stronger (if you give your body the right nutrients to grow). So, to gain muscle, does it have to hurt? No, it doesn't. But it's a walk on a tightrope, because you have to hit the zone where you challenge your muscles enough to encourage growth, but you can't come on to strong. At the same time, you shouldn't go to hard, but you have to go hard enough to challenge your body. And that's probably why most people like being sore. It's almost instant feedback that the workout did come through. And that's okay. However, keep in mind that being sore means that - in a way - you're injured. And as it goes with all injuries, you have to give your body time to heal. Take a rest day. You deserved it. 

In that spirit, I had a great rest day today. I walked a lot ("Walk it off") and had good food to give my body the material to bounce back stronger. 

So, enjoy your soreness and your rest day!

No Sugar Challenge

I got a problem with sugar; I'm either off it or on it. Being off it means, I get all my carbs from fruit and veggies. Being on sugar means that I'm eating enormous amounts of chocolate, ice cream and cookies. And when I'm talking about enormous, I am talking about a whole tub of ice cream or a whole chocolate bar (the 100-200g kind, not 30-40g). During my graduation weekend I've eaten so much junk food that of course all my eating habits went out of whack and my body is craving fatty and sugary foods again.

This was the first helping at the kebab and pizza buffet where we went for my graduation. The first helping still contained salad. :D

This weekend is Midsummer in Finland, which means tomorrow the stores are open for a limited amount of time and on Saturday all the stores are closed. I got no chocolate or ice cream here at home. So, I'm going cold turkey, because no matter how hard I'll be craving sweets, there's no getting them. And - at least to me - the first two days are always the hardest. 

Now, this has nothing to do with losing weight or anything, but consuming sugary sweets makes me feel a bit off. Plus, I get acid reflux pretty easily. And I don't get the energy I get from "real" food. Actually it is quite paradox, how I love to eat chocolate and ice cream when I know that they make me feel bad. In the end, I've decided to stay off sugar and fatty food until August. Which is going to be a challenge because summer is ice cream time. On the other hand, I've probably eaten enough ice cream for two life times. ;)
My aunt is coming to visit me next weekend, so this is going to be a real challenge, but on the other hand, nothing like a challenge to make it more interesting. 

Motivation - what get's me going when I don't want to go?

I've been training 10-15h a week on average - come rain, come shine - for the last two and a half years if not longer. I usually do a session in the morning and one in the evening. This led to some seriously confused faces, especially during times when I had loads of stuff on plate, like uni, work, internships etc. One of my friends straight up asked me, how I am able to deal with having no spare time at all. 

The secret is: sports and training to me are spare time. Quality spare time to be honest. Whenever I got a crazy schedule, the first thing to go is tv. Now, I don't even own tv (I got a tv, with a dvd-player, that's not hooked up to satellite or anything), so if I watch tv shows and movies, it's after a longer period of contemplation of what I could watch. If I have no time, well, then there is no tv. You got no idea of the amounts of hours one can while away by just hanging around in front of a tv (or mindless surfing on the internet for that matter), even though there isn't even anything interesting on. So, there's a goldmine of hours you can potentially use for exercise. 

After useless time in front of the tv is gone, I start to plan my days more effectively. There've been times where my life was scheduled down to the minute (well, 15min intervals to be exact).

Me this morning at 7am waiting for Body Pump class to start.

But why would I do all that for... exercise? 

Because training to me is a habit that helps me deal with stress, is fun and lets me interact with people. I don't even think about it any more, I have a routine and I stick to that routine, sometimes for months. There are days when I don't even think about it anymore, the act of packing and shouldering my gym bag being so natural that I might find myself at the gym at the time I've always been there, without even noticing it. 

There are times when this is more difficult, though.

When I am on a really tight schedule. I plan ahead. I write down every single engagement and meeting and then I fit in the classes or the exercise I can do around them. Sometimes I also make appointments according to my workout schedule (actually I do this as far as possible).

When I am exhausted or my muscles are extremely sore. But. That is actually a sign to consider. If I'm so sore that getting out of bed in the morning seems like a daunting task, then I know I should consider a rest day. Mostly I get up, stretch a little, do some light sun salutations and evaluate the situation again when I got the morning stiffness out of my limbs. If it feels okay, I go, if not: rest day (or some light alternative exercise like Body Balance or Yoga) it is.

When I really don't want to go to training. Well, that happens rarely enough. And if it happens then it is mostly a certain kind of training I am not particularly interested in at that moment, which may be due to having done too much of it for a prolonged amount of time or just not wanting to do it at that moment. Mostly I just try to figure out what my problem is exactly and then see if I might be interested in another way of training or another class. If this goes on for a prolonged amount of time, I try to get behind the reasons why I don't like to do that right now and why I started doing it in the first place. Right now, I'm a little stuck with MMA, because spring has been pretty rough and full of major and minor disappointments, plus I trained a lot in spring, sometimes just forcing myself to train because "I have a match coming up and I have to go". In addition I wasn't allowed to do any submission wrestling for a few weeks because of my neck-shoulder-condition (that starts getting better) and my work schedule has been pretty stuffed. So, I decided to not feel guilty about taking those few weeks off, because afterwards I can go back to training for the fun of it. 

When I'm feeling generally uninterested in anything. That's when I just kick my own butt to the gym, because I know that afterwards I will feel better. It helps that many of our instructors at my gym are just great guys and gals, who I really enjoy seeing/meeting. Plus, normally, I love MMA, submission wrestling, Body Combat, Grit, bouldering and Body Pump. And maybe that's what's most important: finding a sport or class you love to go to. Finding a way of training you enjoy. And once you've found it, it's like I said in the beginning: training is quality spare time. 

Someone's gotta have your back

My neck, my back...
Nope, not going there, not a good idea. 

I've been hesitant to share this with a potentially indefinite audience, because I'm still feeling a little ambivalent about this thing myself. But your back is important and you have to take good care of it. Back muscles are one of the fastest muscle group to grow, but still many people fatefully neglect their backs. 

Why am I so concerned with this?

When I was nine years old, I broke my T5. That's the fifth vertebra in the thoracic spine.

I was on bed rest for four weeks, causing the muscles in my legs to deteriorate to the point where I had to learn walking again. The memory was there, but the muscles weren't. It was a scary experience that I wish on nobody, because well, as a toddler you don't get the process, it's nothing you do consciously. Plus, the floor is closer if you fall. But that's a whole other story. Fact is, when I was walking again and living life like nothing happened, I had passed this one on to the closed files. It was something that had happened to me a long time ago and sometimes in "what if..."scenarios I'd realise just how lucky I had been. 

Fast forward ten years. The edge of my left trapezius muscle starts getting stiff on some days. Whenever I move my shoulder blade in an up and down motion, it makes an ugly sound. It's only the left one, though. 

Another few years. I start working out. It's more often than not these days that my shoulder blade catches on the edge of my trapezius and my upper back is tense most of the time. Working out releases some of the tension. Sometimes when the tension lessens, I get aural migraines and have to puke from the pain. Probably just bad posture. Still only the left side.

Another few years later. I start MMA. I'm a leftie. The catching of the shoulder blade on the edge of the muscle, the reduced movement radius and the pain make things a little harder, but not unbearable. It works okay. Not well, but okay. Some days now, my right side starts to show symptoms, too. I've been having this for so long, it can't be that bad.

Summer 2014. Made a strange move with my head when I tried looking over my right shoulder. Can't move without pain. Have to sit down. Go to work where my boss asks me why I'm so pale. Tell her I'm not feeling well. Am sick to my stomach from the pain. After a few hours I cannot sit anymore because it hurts. Decide to stand up. Cannot support the weight of my own head with the muscles in my neck because it hurts so bad. Sit down again. Start crying when the pain comes rushing in in waves. My boss tells me to go to the doctor. Now. Like: NOW! Cannot get up. My boss sends someone to buy pain meds. After I took two 400 Ibuprofens I am able to make it to the doctor's office. Which was about 500m from my workplace. 

The doctor looks at me. Sits behind her desk and looks at me. Asks me where it hurts. Asks me to turn my head. Cannot physically turn my head. Pain. She says I should probably stretch more, go get a massage when everything's a little better. I don't tell her that I do yoga and go see a sports masseuse every other week. I would have probably shown these symptoms earlier if not. She prescribes me muscle relaxants and strong pain meds. As I get up to leave she asks me what I do for a living. If I needed sick leave. I considered it for a moment, then said no. I was part-time cleaning and part-time doing office/human resources work for the same company. I wanted to believe her, when she said, all I needed to do was stretch more. But. It didn't really help. 

The residual pain got stronger. I've never hat acute pain like that after this incident, but my upper back hurt. Every. Single. Day. 

A couple of months ago I realised I was eating pain meds like other people eat candy. I thought about going to the doctor again. Decided against it and stretched more. 

Then, one day, the feeling in my left hand left partly. There was a tingling sensation where I still felt something. I called my boss and asked her to see our work physiotherapist. And Wednesday I went. I finally got to go. She was nice. Asked lots of questions. Told me if she did not know I was in pain, she would have never seen anything. My posture is better than average and outwardly there's not much to see. Then she bend and shaped me a little. Tried the flexibility of my muscles, limbs, how my arms move, everything. 

Finally she said: "There's a slight disturbance somewhere around your C5. And your spine from there down to T5 is really rigid. I believe that this stems from the same trauma that caused the breaking of your T5, but because everybody was focused on the broken vertebra, they might have easily overlooked any trauma in the soft tissue surrounding your spine." 

So there it was. My ghost had come back to haunt me again. And it had brought friends. 

It is a strange feeling when you've been dealing with something a long time ago and have actually found closure, just to find out that nothing is as easy as it seems. I got some spine mobility exercises from my physiotherapist and now - only one and a half day later - I am pain-free for the first time in ages! 

I have to do an exercise similar to this, just a little higher. This mobilises the thoracic spine, if you put the resistance across your shoulder blades, and bend your head back in a half-circle, you mobilise your cervical spine.

There are two things I am feeling right now:

1: relief. Constant pain is something you learn to live with, but you are always kind of strung out, weary, there's always this voice in the back of your head: "It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. Acknowledge the pain." You only realise that when you're pain-free. It's like Bucky Barnes once said: "Worse off became the new normal", but that doesn't mean that worse off is good.

2: anger, frustration at myself for not seeking help years earlier. For letting it come so far. 

So, take good care of your back. Keep old injuries in mind whenever there are symptoms close to them. Go to the doctor on time. Here are some great exercises for spine mobility: 

Utthita Trikonasana expands your chest and shoulders, increases neck mobility and stretches your spinal muscles. Plus many other things. 

And this is one of my favourite exercises to help thoracic mobility. 

And here's kind of a cheat sheet for quick spinal mobility exercises and better posture. 

I hope you got a little bit out of my experience and maybe a little inspiration to give your back a little love <3

Pain and sports

Pain without love

Pain I can't get enough 
Pain I like it rough
Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
(Three Days Grace - Pain)

"An athlete doesn't see a healthy day" [urheilija ei tervettä päivää näe] - Finnish proverb.

"Push through the pain"

"Love the burn"

"Better sore than sorry"

"No pain, no gain"

We all know these fitspo-slogans coursing up and down the internet. We all want to be brave, we all want to push through the pain, gritting our teeth and be the person who does all this fitspo-superhero-romantic stuff. But how do you know when enough is enough? How do you know that your body can go no further?
Pain actually is a warning sign, it is supposed to tell you that you are not okay. That you should slow down a bit. We all know this, but still we grit our teeth and keep on doing what we're doing until we just physically cannot push any further.
Believe me, I know.

Just a few bruises, a taped-up joint capsule and toe and a swollen ankle...

I'm still trying to figure out what the right measure is. When to stop. I'm the worst when it comes to not giving in to reason because it feels like giving up.
In January I woke up one morning and started crying when I tried to get out of bed, but was so sore that I needed about two minutes to just sit up. Everything hurt. But the worst thing was: it had been that way for the last four and a half months. I woke up this one January morning and realised that I could not remember a day when nothing in my body ached within the last four and a half months. It had been enough. I took a week-long break. I had gone all this time doing sometimes up to 20 hours worth of workouts or stretching or anything at all related to sports a week, most weeks making do with one rest day. Sometimes none. I remember there being a streak where I had gone almost twenty days without rest. I was hanging at the end of my rope. And there I was, trying to sit up, crying. But why do we let it get so far?

For me it was pride, one of my main triggers, and the will to prove that I was just as good, just as strong, just as robust as the guys. No, I wanted to be better than the guys. As the only girl working out and training with a bunch of guys, you get this false sense of having to prove you're worth it. Having to prove that you can take a hit. You feel like you have to put in twice the work the guys do, show them you are indestructible, not realising that all you achieve is destruction.
And I wanted to compete in MMA. I had to improve, no matter what the cost, I could not simply skip training because something hurt. I broke my toe and kept on going. I couldn't walk right, but that didn't keep me from jumping, lifting, and sparring. I taped it, it hurt like hell every time I removed the tape. It didn't heal properly. But... everyone was doing it. Our trainer had all his toes taped. It was a running gag. Broken toes and training with them are an everyday thing.
I messed up the joint capsule of my right big toe a few weeks later. Hurt real bad. Still hurts and it's been almost four months. Again, I couldn't walk properly. Again, I taped it. Am still taping it before some training sessions.
I can't move my right thumb right, because I once hit a right hook a little off kilter and my thumb connected with the pad, there was a strange noise and pain. Didn't matter, I had a match coming up.
The knuckles in my boxing gloves were bruised and/or bloody a few times, but there was still three training eras to go. So I went the whole nine yards. Got a few pale scars on my knuckles these days.

no need to explain this, is there? 

And then there are the bruises. Lots and lots of bruises. Some hurt more, some less.

This one hurt a little more...ouchie

And last but not least, the soreness. The feeling that you just cannot get out of bed in the morning because your body just hurts.
And what for? Pride. A false sense of achievement when you swap war stories with your peers. And then you get to the point, where you're super girl. When your trainer tells the rest of the group: "Guys, just look at the lady. Now there's a good example for all of you!" or someone just says in passing: "Well, but no challenge for you, it's probably child's play to you." They don't see that you hurt. And how could they when you've become so good in just pushing harder whenever it hurt.
And at some point you start to believe your own press.


When I got the news that even my last match of the season - the fourth cancellation this spring - would not happen because there was no suitable opponent, I crashed totally. Only then, the excitement and anticipation leaving me, did I realise just how messed up my body was. And not because someone else told me to keep on going, but because I kept telling myself that I had to. I got an all-or-nothing kind of attitude that makes it hard for me to slow down once I've found something I like, I'm crazy ambitious/competitive and I have this slightly addictive nature. Sports tickles that the wrong way sometimes. I have to learn to do the moderation thing. I'm working on it.

A good start was my trainer, who at one point told me to remember to rest. When that did not help, he actually told me to keep my feet still the rest of the day and the next day. Rest. Whenever I'd look too tired, he'd ask me what kind of workouts I had done that week, how many rest days I'd had. If he didn't like the answer, he told me to slow down. If the answer was alright, he'd tell me to remember to eat. At one point he continuously told me to remember to eat well. I had probably lost too much weight/speed/strength at that point and didn't even notice myself. A good trainer with your best interests at heart is worth everything and more.
But what if you don't have that voice of reason?

A) Learn to distinguish different forms of pain. There is good pain (like the burning in your thighs after you did a hard squat set) and then there's bad pain (like the stinging pain in your knee after you've been doing deep squats on five days in a row without a rest day and maximum weights). Those are just extreme examples. If a certain movement hurts, don't do it or get someone to tell you if your technique/posture/etc. is right.
B) Good pain can become bad pain, too. Remember my soreness-story? Not good. You need to give your body some well earned rest if you want to see muscle/strength growth or any kind of development.
C) Listen to your body. This sounds easier than it actually is because there are all these other motivators screaming over the voice of your body. But if your body says it's not a good day to get in a Body Pump/Combat/Step/Attack-session, then don't go because the instructor's cute (been there, done that :P), don't go because you ate that cupcake and now have to train off the calories (it doesn't really work like that anyway), don't go because you always go (most stupid reason I ever had..."But I always go to this class") and don't go to prove a point to anyone. Not even yourself.

Now, keep in mind that I'm still struggling with these. I still believe there are things worth going through pain. That jacked up ankle in the picture? I didn't tap out in a tournament. And escaped and got my opponent sweeped afterwards. It wasn't pretty, but it gave me that small experience of success.
Hello, my name is Kitty and I am a sports addict. But it's been 8 days since my last incident.

This love - hate - relationship...

You say you can't handle it
But there's no way to stop this now [...]
 Kick, scream call it quits
 But your just so full of it
cause it's too late, to close your mouth [...]
(Orianthi - Shut Up And Kiss Me)

Story time: when I started with the Grit series, I hated it.

I started out with Grit Plyo, because for one, it was something new, training explosive strength and agility. I also like jumping around. I'm not joking, I'm jumping a lot. And Grit Plyo was jumping on the next level. Didn't hurt that I really liked the instructor who made us jump. But HIIT is not for the faint of heart and it's... defo another, totally out there kind of exhausting. So, I hated it from the get go. Like, full-on hated it. But you're supposed to give workouts three to five tries before you decide if you like them or not. I tried to not be too judgemental. Hate. Hate. Wait...  I went the fourth time. Fifth. Sixth. And eventually I found myself telling my friends that "You gotta try this! It's the best thing ever!!!" What had happened?

The beauty that is Grit: I noticed changes, progress. I noticed how I could get in more reps after only two weeks. I felt better and...then there's the definitely wrongly coined "runner's high" when the feeling you have to puke ceases and the endorphins hit. So, I gave Grit Strength a go, too. Oh, and how I loathed it! From the bottom of my heart hated it, swore to never do it ever again. Well. Four weeks ago - exactly two years after my first shot at Plyo - was one of the greatest moments concerning progress so far; during Strength we did last summer's choreo. And I did not think about the weight I'd put on my smart bar, it was the weight I had been using for the newest release for the last few weeks. Until I realised: I did the whole choreo with 5kg (plus 3kg smart bar) more than last summer and yes, it was hard, but manageable. "This is my benchmark now" I don't like using expletives, but Fuck yeah!

Sounds sappy, but two years after I started doing Grit and completely hated it, it is now hard to imagine life without Grit. I've seen muscle definition and strength, rep count and agility increase and it's addictive. What I once thought to be the worst thing I had ever gone through, is now one of the highlights of my week. They should write a Hollywood romance about this hate-relationship turned love. ;)

So, if you ever get the chance to visit a Grit class, do it and don't judge it on the first go. :)

Instagram + food = obsession

Has anyone else had to deal with this? I joined instagram about a year ago and I didn't really use it for a while. And then, all of a sudden, it happened: I started taking pictures of my food and I started following people who took pictures of their food and now I am addicted to instagram. I myself am posting about one food post per day (!!!) and I like 4-6 food posts of others per day.
On the plus side: I have been getting so much inspiration food-wise, it got me to try out stuff, I would have never tried out without instagram and somehow it feels good when about ten people like your breakfast :D

But now seriously; it probably is really annoying for people who are not interested in food or healthy living, etc., but I believe there are some positive sides to instagramming food:
1. you get inspired to use new food or to use food you have at home in new ways
2. it looks delicious
3. you can get a lot of information about other people's way of life and eating. I am following several people who are following a mostly or completely vegan diet and I got interested in it as well and this spring and summer has been seeing me dabbling with a vegan way of life. I could not go completely vegan, but more about that in another post.
4. if you are posting your own food, you become more conscious of what you're actually eating. Not just what kind of food you are eating, but I'm talking living-in-the-moment-wise: You prepare your food, you take a pretty picture of it instead of just stuffing your face as fast as you can, you see the picture, you say sth about it, you post your picture and by then, you really realised what delicacy you are about to eat and you savour it a little more. And afterwards you can look at it and know: wow, that was really good. It makes you more aware of the process of preparing and eating food. Which is - nowadays - something that can get lost during the hurry of everyday life. Enjoy your food! :)

This is the kind of stuff that goes onto my insta these days. @viviane786

Morning training

I love to work out in the morning. I would have never thought that I'd become a morning person, but due to my morning workouts I started to slowly slip into some kind of routine where I'm going to sleep at about 10-11 pm and get up somewhere around 6 and 7 am. 

It started when I started the Tone It Up -Regime a few months back where you are supposed to do some light Cardio in the morning 3-4 times a week to get your metabolism going. I started sometime in May with 30min running sessions. Then I figured out that our gym had morning classes and did some yoga on some days. Now that autumn is upon us and brought temps like -3°C with it, I really don't feel like running anymore, but thanks to one of my favourite instructors, there is a new morning workout that made it into my weekly schedule. Atm my mornings look like follows: Monday MMA HIIT, Tuesday is mostly my recovery day, Wednesday MMA HIIT, Thursday has still been a running day, but I'll come to this later, Friday GRIT Plyo, Saturday Body Pump and/or Combat and Sunday I sleep in. 

Morning training sessions or workouts or actually anything you do to move your body in the morning are an effective way to wake up your body, to rev up your metabolism and you are really awake afterwards. But the best part: you still got the whole day ahead of you and if you don't feel like it, you don't have to do anything sports related in the afternoon. :) Okay, the last point doesn't really do it for me, but I know some people who are busybodies and like to spend their afternoons meeting people, doing things. My afternoons normally mean another training session, seeing that I got MMA-training three times a week, I like my Sunday workout that consists of CX WORX, GRIT Strength and most Sundays a Body Combat in addition to these. And Thursdays are actually Body Combat days. 

But back to today; after MMA practice yesterday I felt like my body had been going through a wood chipper or sth similar, it hurt so bad. Every muscle was sore minutes after the training was over and I won't even start on the bruises. It's part of the game so there's no complaining and usually I like this kind of pain, where there's nothing left to do but take a hot shower, go to bed, role up into a fetal position and hope you don't move so it doesn't hurt so bad. Most mornings, I wake up feeling okay. I had a feeling yesterday that today would be different. Oh, and it was. I was actually hurting even more than in the evening and most of my joints were incredibly stiff. For a moment I lay in bed and thought about my options. Going for a run? Hell no! Dying? Might actually be more pleasant than this... but then I remembered that there was a "Rise&Shine" class in the morning that contained a warm up, soft muscle conditioning moves (not the kind of stuff you do in a toning class, but toned down, flowing, soft movements) that got your muscles softer and open and then half an hour of stretching. Afterwards I spent about 15min in the sauna and now I'm feeling a lot better. I can move without pain, my joints are flexible again and breathing doesn't hurt anymore. Definitely going there again. 

So even if you're not a morning person, just try it maybe a few times, it doesn't have to be anything hard or exhausting, maybe get up 15min earlier and do a little yoga routine like this one:

your body on fat percentage

I found an interesting picture on Pinterest today, showing how your body looks at different fat percentage levels. I myself should be somewhere between 25 and 22% at the moment, but I'm trying hard to get to 20 or even 18. Don't know if this is actually going to work, because it is not about simple dieting but body composition changes, but I can try. :)

One should probably remember that the female body isn't meant to be totally skinny, but that women are supposed to be a little softer than guys. Also, at a certain level (I believe it was around 15%), you won't get your menstruation anymore or at least not on a regular basis, because your body just isn't fit to become pregnant. So, whatever goals you aspire, keep in mind to keep it healthy. :)

How To Stay Productive When You Work In An Open Office

I found this nice article through CapGemini. I myself have had some problems with keeping up concentration at our office where people are talking to each other across the office or over your head. It's kind of annoying when you're trying to re-calculate the work hours of a mathematically challenged employee and someone starts babbling right beside you.

Here's some tips and tricks.

1. Create a virtual wall
use headphones and listen to ambience/natural sounds to shut out noisy co-workers.
"The best sounds for concentration are natural and unpredictable. Ambient electronic music tends to work well at blocking out noise yet it doesn’t create a distraction. Try binaural beats in stereo headphones. Neurophysiologists believe these sounds can induce the brain into a deep state of concentration, creativity and relaxation."

2. Have a "Collaboration table"
if you want people to collaborate, give them a special area to do so, so they don't have to worry about disturbing others and others don't have to try and concentrate through noisy brainstorming.

3. Adopt a "Do not disturb attitude"
set aside a certain amount of time a day, where you are not to be disturbed and concentrate only on your own work.
"In a study published in Applied Psychology, people seeking help performed better at work, but people providing help actually performed worse. Scientists determined that alternating between helping others and doing your own work imposes a heavy “cognitive load” because you have to reacquaint yourself with the details of your project each time you return to it. Not to mention –multitasking is a fallacy."

Interested in reading the whole thing? switch over here

Get UP!

I don't know what a nervous breakdown feels like, but I had a breakdown of some kind today.
After two exhausting classes at the gym - I've done more and worse workouts before - I went home and took a shower. But the moment the adrenalin left my body, I just had to sit down and had no idea of how to get up again, I was so exhausted. Mentally and physically. I'm not sure what hit me, worrying too much about study related stuff or problems with someone in my life. But it was weird. Afterward I went to bed and fell into a deep sleep and the next morning it was all better, but it was a weird thing.

So, for now I'm trying to get more sleep, try to worry less and start to cut out stressing factors from my life. And I listen more closely to my body. But still, sometimes you have to clench your fists and just get up. Don't let life get you down. :)

Unrealistic Goals

There has been an interesting article on Shape magazine I wanted to share with you. It's all about keeping your goals realistic because you get frustrated and can really wreck your health if you pursue unrealistic goals.

5 Common Body Goals That Are Unrealistic

The thigh gap—it’s like the latest Hermes bag: Seemingly every woman wants it, yet not everyone can have it. But that doesn’t stop women from hitting the gym or, at times, taking more drastic measures to try to turn their bodies into their “ideal” figures.

And while working out and eating well can help you fine-tune your body, some goals can only be achieved if you’re genetically blessed or have a certain bone structure. So rather than pushing yourself to your breaking point (perhaps literally), find out what’s realistic for your body.

The Thigh Gap

Seeing Victoria Secret models strut the length of a runway without a single thigh rub is enough to make you seethe with jealousy, but simmer down because for most women the only way to not have your inner thighs touch is to refashion your skeleton.

“No dieting or fitness regimen is going to change your bone structure,” say Polly de Mille, an exercise physiologist at Hospital for Special Surgery in New York City. And it’s urban legend that taking birth control pills for the extra estrogen will help widen your hips and create that gap. “That doesn't work. You can't control your hip size.”

Instead of fighting it, embrace the fact that you are fit and have muscle. “If you look at models, you'll notice they don't have defined quads or hamstrings like you see on CrossFit women,” says mobility doctor Vonda Wright, M.D., an orthopedic surgeon at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine. In other words, active girls have powerful legs that help carry them through their favorite sports and adventures. “Unless you're genetically wide-hipped, you shouldn't have a gap. Skinny is not always fit or strong,” she adds.

Dress to love your shape: Rock what your mama gave you in a pencil skirt, suggests style expert Bridgette Raes, author of Style Rx. “Most women who have large thighs normally have a very defined waistline, so the best thing they can do is accentuate that area to create that natural hourglass figure.” Pair the snug bottom with a boat neck top to counterbalance the hip-to-shoulder ratio and emphasize that va-va-voom figure.

V-Cut Abs

Guys aren't the only ones who can sculpt the lower part of their abs to form that cool v-shape. Singer Pink has wowed us with her stomach for years, before and after having a baby with husband Carey Hart in June 2011. What’s her secret?

“Pink was a gymnast for years, so she likely developed that fit body through training early in life,” de Mille says, adding that genetics is also probably at play since not everyone is designed to chisel their midsection. “People who are apple-shaped may never get lean enough that you can see this kind of definition. They can have abs, they just may be hidden under a little layer of fat.”

Pear-shaped ladies, on the other hand, have a better shot at this look since their fat generally is deposited around their hips—so your thighs may touch, but you've got a crazy core. However, you may need to drop your body fat to an unhealthy level to achieve this. If your body fat drops so low that you stop menstruating (the exact percentage at which this happens varies for every woman), your bone health will also suffer, Dr. Wright warns.

Dress to love your shape: A wrap dress with some ruching can work wonders. “People won't know whether it's your abs or the dress,” says Raes, who recommends looking for a v-shaped mitered stripe pattern to help pull off the illusion. Look for pieces that are going to help hold you in (a little Lycra goes a long way) instead of flimsy or bulky dresses that won't help define your midsection.


Toned Arms


You can thank folks like First Lady Michelle Obama, Madonna, and Kelly Rippa for this one. While women genetically tend to accumulate fat on the back of their arms, it takes as little as six weeks of consistent strength training to tighten your triceps and biceps and wave goodbye to batwings, according to de Mille. And don’t worry about getting man arms, as it can be really hard to pack on even a little bit of muscle; it all depends on your muscle fibers.

“If you have predominately slow-twitch muscle fibers, you're going to be a good endurance athlete, but you can pump iron until you're blue in the face and not develop noticeably defined muscles,” de Mille says. On the other hand, if you have mostly fast-twitch fibers, you can pretty much sneeze and pop a muscle. Take a look at your family to figure out what kind of fibers you likely have more of.

But even if you have the DNA of a female Arnold Schwarzenegger, it'll still be a challenge. “Women just don't have enough testosterone on board to get that bodybuilder's frame,” de Mille says. Give it time, and even if you can’t sculpt flab-free arms, chances are you will see at least a little difference.

Dress to love your shape: A flattering cap sleeve shapes the top of your arms and can help optically broaden the shoulder line to create a narrowing effect on the bottom half of the body, Raes says, making your arms look slimmer. A wider or higher neckline will also aid in this cause.

Concave Stomach

This may be the worst goal to go after: Fit abs tend to bulge outward. The only way to have a stomach that collapses inward is to lose an unhealthy amount of weight through extreme dieting.

“Think about what's in your stomach: You've got your intestines, which often have food or air in them, and you may also be bloated if you're menstruating. While your belly can look flat, it's unlikely that it would look sunken in if you're eating normally,” de Mille says. Plus, eating too little will cause your nails to become brittle and your hair to fall out since you won’t be getting adequate levels of the nutrients your body needs for normal functioning, and your hormones will become imbalanced due to a lack of fat, Dr. Wright adds. Not worth it.

Dress to love your shape: Stripes, patterns, and seams that move on a diagonal as well as diagonals themselves are all super slimming, Raes says. Her other secret weapon: Spanx. “We see shapewear as this very uncomfortable, restrictive garment, but a light shapewear, like a tank or a bottom piece that rises up to the bra line, can make you feel contained and confident.”

Narrow Hips and Small Butt

While Jennifer Lopez, Kim Kardashian, and Christina Hendricks may have paved the way for real-life curvy women everywhere, some ladies still covet a small butt and hips a la Cameron Diaz—but not everyone is biologically programmed to be built this way. If you have curves thanks to your bone structure, you can’t do anything to shrink your hips; as for your rear, how “small” it appears is up to genetics, but you can improve how bootylicious it looks.

“Strengthening your glutes and reducing the layer of fat over them will change the outline of your body, whether you’re an apple or a pear, because muscle shapes you,” de Mille says. Resistance training is key to build that muscle, and “you need to work your arms and core as well as your butt,” says Dr. Wright, who recommends biking or climbing stairs (real stairs, not a machine) while swinging your arms to help propel you.

Dress to love your shape: For an instant butt lift, wear denim with back pockets that sit rather high up at the top of your derriere, Raes recommends, but watch their angle. “When pockets are angled too far down at the bottom, they can create the impression of a lower, wider butt,” she warns. And opt for a high rise. “When the waist hits higher, it emphasizes your natural hip curve, and then your butt won't look short and saggy,” she explains.

The Benefits of GRIT workouts

I love these infographics, so here goes. btw, isn't Little Les Mills cute? ;) This infographic shows the health benefits of my new fav workouts - Les Mills GRIT

Old Goals, New Goals, Achievements and Pride

So, I did not have a six-pack this summer.
But: I don't care. I had the best beach body in my whole life and - what's even more important - I feel great in my own skin. I realised that even more than your outward appearance it's the feeling that counts. And the things you, your body, is able to do.
My fitness is better than ever.
I can lift more weight than ever.
I can run faster.
I get winded much later.
My resting pulse went down a bit.

But now for some new goals... I have to motivate myself this coming autumn. My favourite instructor leaves for a few months and thus I'm... it would be too much to say on my own...but I'm a little lost. The news got me spinning a little last week, but then again... it's a challenge. First: I have to find my own motivation. Second: Dude, I'm gonna show you what kind of results I can achieve in four months. My own pride will probably keep me going and come Christmas, I will have changed my body a little more. I'm not going for big changes anymore, but there are a few small things I could hone. :)

And maybe next year the six pack. :D but hell, I'm a Nike S-size these days! (former L-gal is rather impressed with herself) :)